Do We Parents Keep Right Track?
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Oh! Baby, My beautiful Baby! Your touch softens my heart
Your smile lights up my life
I will wait for the day when you can look at my face and smile at me.
I promise to take care of you as the most precious gem in my life.
Did you get confuse that I am starting on a poem? This is not a poem. These are the thoughts every mother, every father feels when they look at their new-borns.
New born grows into infant, then to toddler and our “beautiful baby” starts going to school. Our expectations about the baby start to grow.
Why can’t he draw a full circle when his friends can do?
Why is she so shy in dancing when her friends are dancing?
Why are his grades low, when his friends score better?
Anxieties grow for the parents. We start pressurising our “beautiful baby”. Extra coaching, tuition classes, home tutoring and the list goes on to make our “beautiful baby” come first among his friends .
Our “beautiful baby” is sent for coaching from seventh standard onwards for a seat in the country’s prestigious institutions probably because we could not get one.He is sent for medical entrance examination (which he has to appear after 12th standard) coaching from eighth standard onwards to make him a doctor probably because we could not become one.
Day after day we dream about our “beautiful baby” winning accolades.
But are we on the right track?
This thought came to my mind after reading an article about students’ suicides in some of the prestigious educational institutions in India which was featured in a weekly magazine.
There are quite a good number of suicides happening in these premier institutions where the best brains of the country are admitted. Parental pressure is pointed out as one of the significant reasons for this.Some students reported that they had to stop all kinds of extracurricular activities from class 8 onwards to attend the coaching classes for the entrance examination of these institutes. In India, you will find such coaching centres at every nook and corner of the country.
We, parents forget to train our children on life skills. They fail to cope up with the pressures of a professional school, land up in adjustment problems in college and hostel, and end up in love failures, because we trained them to be just MCQ monsters. After a very strict atmosphere at home, till 12th standard, when they go to hostels and stay on their own, they are getting access to many things to which they may indulge in by compulsion and more often than not by choice.
Unnecessary expectations from parents force the children to keep unachievable goals and deadlines for themselves and when they fail to keep up with parents’ aspirations, tragedy starts.
Happy school kid
I wonder is it a problem only in India? Do we fail to support our “beautiful babies”? Can we give her life? A beautiful life where she is allowed to do what she enjoys doing?
- The Pressure from Parents | Psychology Today
Overinvolved parents may be hurting the psychological development of college students. By Hara Estroff Marano | Psychology Today
- \'Mere parental pressure does not lead to suicide\' - Times Of India
JAIPUR: Providing financial assistance to students and launching effective student services at the universities can reduce suicide among teenagers. The British government adopted this strategy and
- Parental pressure can result in suicides
With just two days to go for the SSLC exam results to be declared, helplines are all set to offer help to stressed-out parents and students. Last year's figures reveal that during times like these,
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Here we don't have high expectations of the children. All have come from abusive relationships, so we do our best to retrain them away from the abuse their mothers and in a few cases the children have faced.
It is hard when you hear a child say they can't have fun unless they are hitting or being hit by another child. This is the kind of thinking we are trying to change here. It is harder than you think.
Voted up, interesting and sharing with our corporate followers.
@tsmog
Children are very keen observers and spontaneous by nature. They learn things faster. I believe, as a parent our role is just to guide them and show them the right path in forming their character. They have the potential to evolve naturally into responsible adults. The problems arise when the parents become obsessive and think it is their “rights” to exercise “power” on the child.
Thanks for the comment
@ Aloscin
You are very true. During that learning process some of us become overenthusiastic and demanding to the extent that the children feel suffocated
Thanks for sharing
I am empathetic to the plight you described thumbi7. Not being a parent I can only imagine and probably not too good a job of that. The closest I come to being a parent is with employees and as an uncle-great uncle. If anything I have learned to listen with discernment.
I am amazed with children. I am fascinated observing learning - cognitive, emotional & social. I am at times in awe of what they know. While keeping in mind they are experiencing social matters along with me(us)their perspective is not the same. Yet, the event experienced is the same.
I'm wandering in thought. I appreciate this hub.
Nobody is born a parent, but like anything, the skill has to be carefully learned and put into practice. Voting this Up and Interesting. Thanks for SHARING.
Thank you Ruchira. As a mother of two girls I always question myself whether I am on the right track. I am glad that this hub provided some food for thought.
You have raised a good point Thumbi7. Unfortunately, this problem does not exist only in India...it is everywhere.
PArents are the key to stress for the children. they gotta keep their egos in check and not take it out on their kids. I have at times given out on my kid too.
Thanks for such a valuable hub...loved it and made me look inside me.
Voted up as useful
Thank you Krish for the visit. I appreciate your comments.
kidz are really amazing
Thank you vianasya for the visit and comment.
According to your hub here, I think when all tragedy you've mentioned above happened, I will definitely say parents like that are in the wrong track. It would be better if children is allowed to do what they like, and parents support them. But we must take note that this is OK as long as the children are also going in the right track too. If this managed to balance, I think it would be a wonderful life for the children and parents.
Thank you, linnayeo for sharing your thoughts on this subject. Your comment gives added meaning to this page.
Hi, I wrote the below in my website,..and I thot I just copy/paste part of it here :
>>
Youth of today thinks that the world owes them a living.
Are you nodding your head to the above statement? In the eyes of adult, we believed that today’s youngsters are thoughtless, rash and unwilling to be advised. We subconsciously blame the society for making them what they are today.
If we are to take a step back, can their attitude, their feelings arises from parental mismanagement, or from an unfortunate methods of advising? Could the fault lies on us, instead ?
>> sometimes kids are difficult becoz we parents are not listening well and long enough, cutting their conversation short..
Thank you instant family. I am happy that you found it useful.
I found this Hub useful and I believe many others will, also. Thank you so much for sharing your insight. I am voting UP.
Thank you, Mahua for visiting.
I agree with your views!I vote up for this!!
Thank you, Linda, for updating me about the situation in US. I was under the impression that it is better there.
US parents are no different. Try going to a Little League game. Some parents get irate with kids because they should have hit a home run. If the kid likes baseball, or even if they don't, dad is determined his boy is going to be a Pro player, because he wanted to be a pro and didn't make it. Parents beat up other parents in comparing children's milestones. Oh mine was walking at 9 months, and yours is how old and not walking. It is nuts.
thumbi7 Hub Author 2 months ago
@wheelinallover
The plight of children you describe is of course worse than the picture I gave. I pray to God to give their parents necessary strength and will to give them proper guidance.
Thanks for the comment.